Vivian YELLED at me again.
This happens more often than you think. Sometimes for things she thinks she hears me say. Twice I was able to prove her wrong but today I wasn't so fortunate.
However, yesterday Vivian told me she was going to have to go to Buy buy baby (Bbb) after work to get some stuff like pee pee holders and wet booty towels for the 2 kids. I used to watch some Oprah so I knew to say no worries my Queen I will go. However I am not allowed to go into Babies R U (BRU)ever again. Bbb is 13 blocks and 3 avenues away and BRU is only 3 blocks away.
V & I went to BRU & they were pretty incompetent when I asked them a question and their discount policy has too many rules. They only could answer certain things like do you sell baby products here and are you closed for the holidays. In addition, you could only use their coupons on leap year between the hours of 3:13am and 3:17am. So Vivian made me swear to never go to BRU again...
...and I did but let's be real. I am a man and even worse I am blonde. I figured with my intelligence and their lack thereof I would accomplish everyone's goal and save myself the headache of being labeled lazy. I would then tell Vivian a version of the truth and make it seem as if I were an even better husband and father than everyone already thinks I am by telling her I walked all the way over to Bbb to get the goods.
So I walked into BRU and to build up their confidence I asked a clerk is this a big store or a little store. Either answer would suffice so once I got that out of the way I said thanks and navigated through the store, found the goods, and went back to the clerk that told me the store was old. I showed him a calender from 1996 and a text that I sent to myself that said the numbers 3 1 4 on it.
Everything went great... Except I forgot one thing. I left the receipt from BRU on the table and when Vivian got home it was on. The only thing worse than an angry Colombian woman is an angry Colombian woman raised independent in the USA.
You can just imagine the rest...
Was I right? Was I wrong? Am I too intelligent for my blonde hair? Should dye it black to fit in? These are the questions I will ponder in the next few days to turn things around.
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There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.