How To Photograph A Floating Person
1. Find a place where you can float without appearing to be as crazy as you look. In this case I found the hallway to be within my wife's vocal reach so I set my Canon 7D up on a Cullmann Tripod and took a photograph of my hallway with my wireless remote control.
2. Leaving the camera exactly where it was, I placed an ottoman about 3 feet away from the camera and balanced my fat ass on the poor piece of furniture. Then I mustered up the best constipated smile I could come up with and pressed the remote control.
3. After feeling like I accomplished my idiotic goal I went back in the house and told my wife I was helping out one of the elderly neighbors with her groceries. My wife said, "let me see proof." I said, "I don't have any proof." She then said, "It's a shame you aren't a photographer who takes his camera and tripod along with him everywhere. You might have won the Pulitzer" Anyway, I then took the 1st photo and placed the 2nd one (as a layer) on top. After lining them up I created a layer mask, switched the foreground color, clicked the brush tool with a hardness of 50% and started to erase away the now broken ottoman.
4. Then once you are completely satisfied with How To Photograph A Floating Person, make sure your wife isn't behind you saying, "from the looks of things Superlessman, it looks like you flew passed your destination."
5. For extra fun you can always add a few Topaz Adjust filters to enhance the photo and make your wife say, "hey Clark! Being that you are so quick to help, fly over to the kitchen and cook superman junior something to eat because mommy is sick of being wonder woman all the time."
There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.