Anjali cried more and more until hysteria was building. I did the daddy check list (and checked it twice). I fed her a super sized breast milk meal, I burped her as if she were Bernard Arnold Gumble from the Simpsons, and I changed her diaper as well as my underwear in case that was the offense. Nothing worked. I then shushed her as if I were competing with yankee stadium cheer. I ran around the park like Carl Lewis. I even made faces like Jim Carrey on cafeine. Again nothing worked. I was frustrated and had really strange thoughts like will there ever be a Chinese woman President and does Arnold Schwarzenegger eat rice and beans. Just then a Garbage Man (sanitation worker for the politically correct readers) said to me "pull out." "Pull out?" I said. Yeah just pull her out and see if that works. Duh!!! So I pulled her out and held her in my arms. She was quieter than a cemetery on New Years Eve. Thanks Garbage Man. Now I know...
...next time I will just pull out.
There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.