I love my kids but...

I have thought about selling them on EBAY.  
The ad would read as follows:

2 loving kids with special talents.

Boy-20 months old.

1) Waking up in the middle of the night.
2) Kicking dad in bed or out of it.
3) Going without eating. (will eat pizza anytime)
4) Filling a pamper and blaming you for filling it if you ask him.
5) Speaks English and Spanish to belabor his point in case you don't understand.

Girl-2 months old.



1) Drinks constantly.

If interested please just come over.  No need to call or write.  
Just come over.

Willing to negotiate.

Until tomorrow.

Jai.