Ironically even though i am a father with 2 kids under the age of 2, I still feel that I don't know all that much about parenthood. Yeah I know how to change a diaper or 1000 and boy can I get spit up off of any shirt but every day I am faced with new situations that make me a beginner all over again.
Yesterday Vivian forced us to all go to Ikea...
Remember her big gun?
Now deep down inside I wanted to just get out of prison (I mean house) and Ikea sounded like Disney Land compared to staying home so Ikea we went... However, 20 feet from arriving at a parking spot at Ikea Jaxon gets sick 3 times.
Not once. Not twice... But thrice.
If car sickness is hereditary he got it from me. I didn't stop getting car sick until I got my license at 16 years old. Yep I actually passed the test.
So this is where I hate being "the man" because it was pouring out and I had 2 women (mother in law comes free with the marriage and kids plan) and 2 kids with me and of course I had to sound like a tough guy in control of the situation...
(add Sorprano's voice now)
...Hey dunwurriaboutit. U tree I mean u for get the hell inside I will clean and park the ka.
So I dumped the family in Ikea and stood out in the rain with a broken umbrella and nearly vomited 5 times while I gasped for breath cleaning up whatever Vivian cooked for Jaxon and Jaxon hadn't digested yet.
ok I will stop here...
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There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.