20 inches of snow kept us home on December 27th, 2010. My son was asleep. My daughter wasn't born yet. I looked at my wife with a coy smile and she looked back at me with a similar look. So we did what any young, good looking couple would do home alone with no responsibilities... We looked at our finances. Can you believe we found that we were losing a significant amount of money each month on my wife's apartment that she bought 8 days prior to us finding out that we had already started a family.
Honeymoon's are dangerous.
So we had 2 options. We could either wait 167 years for the economy to recover or we could take the loss and sell... now even though I do look young and the new foundation I have been applying works wonders I don't think I will live another 167 years. So we called up my brother who is a real estate agent and said sell the apartment now. He called up a guy who knew a girl who knew another guy who used to be a girl but now is a guy but is having second thoughts... we got a buyer. Everything was moving along with normal bumps along the way but luckily the buyer had the reliable Bank of America on his side so there was no reason to worry.
Now I don't want to bore you with the he said she said crap that everyone pulls when a deal is going through but we eventually got a closing date of June 29th 2011 at 2pm at Bank of America's request. At 12:15 on that day, 1 hour and 45 minutes before we were to end this journey, Bank of America called and said their system was down and they couldn't give any money to the seller. Keep in mind this is the same day that Bank of America gave 8.5 billion back to their investors. Coincidence? Who knows... but let's give the big bank the little benefit of the convenient coincidence. Besides who cares that both agents and lawyers were on their way to the signing? Who cares that Vivian took a day off from work and we had to get a baby sitter? Who cares that I am married to the Colombian women with attitude? We were all sure that Bank of America would somehow recover from their systematic glitch and give us a new closing date.
July 8th, 2011 at 2pm, at the request of Bank of America, we were ready to close again. At 12:36pm, 1 hour and well you can do the math, Bank of America canceled AGAIN. Apparently they were committed then they decided they had a change of heart and then they were committed again and then they had another change of heart... they remind me of most of my love life when I was in my 20's and early 30's. All corny jokes aside, it's not cool that they keep stringing everyone along like this. Once again the agents and lawyers were in route, our baby sitter was in place, and Vivian took another day off from work. It cost money, time, and preparation to do this. I won't even tell you how it effects us psychologically. Remember Vivian is Colombian. Also, keep in mind the place is unrented so that the new owner can move in and we are still paying the astronomical mortgage, maintenance, and taxes because we still technically own the place because we haven't signed the damn papers. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
I could go on an on... but Jerry Springer is on next. I sometimes feel better about myself after watching a few minutes of JS. However I will leave you with an old Chinese proverb that will help you understand why I made this video.
Sh*t on me once Bank of America shame on you. Sh*t on me twice Bank of America and make a viral video.
There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.