 Finally I can start wearing a skirt. I was looking forward to the day when Vivian and I could go to the dry cleaners together and say I believe you have 2 skirts for my wife and 3 skirts for me. Don't worry honey I will pay for all 5 skirts on my Man Skirt card or Mirt Card as we call it in the hood. Maybe Jaxon and I can Man skirt around town together. It would definitely make potty training easier. In the last 3 days he has used the potty throughout the day and has not wet his diaper. However I always get worried that I am taking to long to pull down his pants. Those damn old fashioned britches that we call pants are just so 2010. But now with Man Skirts I can feel secure that with just a wisk of a breeze I can have him sitting on the potty. Besides Anjali and Jaxon might be able to continue to share wardrobe well into their late teens which will save Vivian and me thousands of dollars in clothing costs each year. The only problem I can foresee is that the next time I have to put my foot down and be the man of the house I might loose a bit of credibility when I scream...
HEY I WEAR THE MAN SKIRT IN THE FAMILY. Until tomorrow. Jai
0 Comments
 Why is it so challenging to find actors and actress for a paid web commercial about denture cream? Actually I have a few men that I can choose from. It's the women. Here is the deal? I was hired to write and film a web commercial about denture cream. It pays. Let me write that again. It pays. When I was auditioning every day I would do anything for a job for FREE. ANYTHING... That means I would have dressed up as an older lady and tried to book the job with heels and all. You know come to think of it. If I can't find an actress within the next few days I will do it myself. Shoot I can play an older caucasian lady. I can definitely play caucasian. I have a pretty face so with some lipstick I might look well... Let's see.
So as I wrap up if you know of a caucasian actress in her 50's to dead please have them contact me. Oh and let me say it again. There is pay. Until tomorrow. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  I was hired to be the event photographer for a children's kid show this past weekend. It's great watching kids size up and figure out their goal.
So let me get this straight. You want my 3 foot body to walk down that 15 foot dark path with blinking lights shining in my face, stop and smile at the photographer all because I am wearing this brightly lit up ensemble that makes me look like Santa Claus bumped into the easter bunny holding an open can of paint. Then you expect me to turn around if I haven't fallen flat on my face already and re-walk that path without incident. That's all part of the parenting process. As parents we must put our kids into funny clothes because our parents did something similar to us and then force them to face semi quasi dangerous situations everyday. And if we take away the stage and do it to you everyday it is no longer called a fashion show. It's called... Life. Until tomorrow. Jai  Jaxon & Anjali tagged teamed Vivian and me during the middle of the night. We just don't have the skills to parent during the wee hours of the morning while 1 & 2 kick our a$$ with screams. What can we do to get them to both sleep during the night every night until they are forced out of our house at the legal age of 18?
Here are a list of ideas that I know will help us get sleep but might be on the boarder of bad parenting. 1) Nightquil 2) Tape over the mouth 3) Cages 4) Give them to the grandparents 5) Give them to the neighbor 6) Give them to a stranger 7) Trunk of the car Or we can... 8) Sell them What are your thoughts? Until tomorrow. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  Manny DelValle Jr. As I was talking to Vivian last night about September 11, 2001 we both reflected about how different our lives were. I was a full time salsa instructor and performer without a wife and kids.
In fact a few days after Sept 11 I went to Germany for a salsa event which was the scariest flight of my life. Anyway, I had been up late the night before promoting my partner (Candy Mena) and my salsa classes. So you can just imagine that getting up early was not my thing at that point in my life. I actually woke up around 10am (My friend Will Vega kept calling me) and the south tower had already fallen. I then woke Candy up and told her what was going on. We both got dressed and ran out to see the North Tower from our vantage point on 5th Avenue. As we were going down the stairs we heard deafening screams from my apartment building and the people from the street. The North Tower of the Twin Towers had fallen as well. I didn't have any friends or family that died that day but I was acquainted with a very nice Salsero (salsa dancer) firefighter that coincidently worked across the street from my mother's house. We spoke several times in salsa class and one time when he stopped me in traffic to allow his fire truck to be parked. I found out that he was the only one in his station that died. He was 32 years young. His name was Manny DelValle Jr. RIP Until Monday Jai  I'd be freaking out too without a show and 8 kids to raise. Shoot I never had a show (well I did commentate on the World Salsa Championships on ESPN for 3 seasons) and I am freaking out with 2 kids and the fact that I never had a show. I want my own show. I know people would watch. At least my mom would. It would be called the Jai Catalano surviving a Colombian wife and his 2 mixed kids.
Ironically I am the one who mixed them up and after they watch the videos I have made in the past and read all of the blogs I will have probably stirred them some more. Hey there is nothing wrong with having a life coach or therapist nowadays. Here is the breakdown... Vivian is 100% Colombian (and a Terrorizer) and I am 50% Italian 25% German and 25% Irish. That makes Jaxon & Anjali 50% Colombian (and mini terrorizers) 25% Italian 12.5% German and 12.5% Irish. Imagine their kid's kids having the where are you from conversation? I am 50% Indian 25% Australian 12.5% Colombian (and I terrorize my loved one every now and again) 3.125% German and 3.125% Irish. Now call me up TLC and watch your ratings fly through the roof. Until tomorrow if my wife let's me live. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  How do we define a bully? Well there are some obvious cases in the world that need to be addressed and then there are some not so obvious cases that need to be addressed. Now I don't want to make light of the hundreds or even thousands of kids that are being bullied everyday. I truly hope this new anti bullying law brings them peace of mind body and spirit but what about those situations that aren't so clear cut.
For example I am a married man to a Colombian woman. That should be enough but let me get into a few specifics and you tell me if you think I am being bullied. 1. When both of my kids go number 2 at the same time my wife says to me no speaka inglish and leaves the house. 2. On my birthday she borrows money to buy me an all day female body massage. 3. When Vivian cooks me a romantic home cooked meal she pulls out 2 frozen Jenny Craig meals. 4. While I am showering Vivian flushes the toilet and blames Jaxon. and if that isn't enough to convince you that I am being bullied then just come visit me at the hospital after Vivian reads this blog. Until tomorrow. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  When I first sat down to teach Jaxon how to use the potty I made a pee sound sssssssssssssssss to illustrate what I wanted. He laughed and just watched but never peed. I wish I could say my child was genius when it came to the potty. Truth is he learns what he wants to and he is a boy so peeing on the floor is inevitable. In fact I had a few accidents several years back and I am sure it's because I wasn't completely potty trained. Although come to think of it, maybe it was the fact that I had had too much to drink. Anyway, whatever the case is, potty training is a stage I can't wait to be out of.
After 2 years and 8 days my son came to me on his own and said pee pee in the potty. Now for 6 months I had been explaining to him that the potty is where one does pee pee. I would say where does one pee pee? He would say with conviction the potty. However, the floor (and dad's leg once) would get victimized. Then I would hold all my emotion in and say oh that's ok that you peed on the floor (and my leg) but where does one do pee pee? And with arrogance he would say the potty. So this morning he got up and said pee pee in the potty. So I said and where does one do pee pee? And with happiness he said the potty. So we ran to the potty, took off his cloths, and sat there. 2 seconds later he looked up at me and said ssssssssssssssssssssss. Until tomorrow wet or dry. Jai  Cliche. There are a lot of challenges in life. Ok I never said I was profound at 6:36 in the morning but then again I aint too profound at 6:36 at night either. However, Chaz Bono is facing new challenges (with Cher on his side)for being on Dancing with the Stars.
And I thought I had it bad when Jaxon peed on me and Vivian and Anjali were laughing. Chaz Bono and Cher are going through more challenges than I can think of because Chaz is now a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. Blogs, several websites, and people are ripping DWTS for allowing a transgender on the show and Cher is defending Chaz. One called the casting choice "disgusting" and stated "ABC should be ashamed for harassing mainstream Americans and Christians." Harassment? That's not harassment. Harassment is when both my kids dump at the same time and mommy leaves. That's harassment. The only thing I am going to say is You go Cher for defending your son. I got your back. Chaz break a leg (not literally)I hope you show the world that you are a strong person and can overcome and achieve what you want with your head held high. Unfortunately I won't be watching. Why? One reason. Because I am so tired from the last 2 years that I probably couldn't sit through a porno. Until Monday Jai  Another star has her photos leaked which is just so sad. Now I haven't seen the photos. No I really haven't. No I am so serious. Why don't you believe me?
The truth... Well honestly it's because I have a daughter now. Let me tell you a true story. I was walking down the street about a month ago and there was a very attractive young woman who was walking about 20 feet in front of me with the back of her skirt caught on her bag showing her underwear. Everyone, including me, couldn't stop looking at her. In all honesty if she were on the beach she would have been in what one calls a bathing suit. However, I didn't say anything and I felt guilty. I did. No I really did. Why don't you believe me? The truth... Well honestly it's because I have a daughter now. So after not saying anything to the young lady and feeling guilty about it I decided to make it a point to tell the next woman I see in that unwanted situation. So guess what happened 2 weeks ago? YEP... You guessed it. So there I was running to catch up to her (I must have looked like a stalker to anyone watching me) so I could warn her about her skirt. I got right next to her like a bookie in a racetrack and said with my hand cupped over my mouth and my vision strictly in peripheral (I never looked at her in her face for those that don't know the word peripheral). Miss be careful of your skirt. It's riding up. Oh... thank you. (and off she ran) I stood there with my hands on my sides and my hair flowing in the wind. I felt like a super hero. I felt like SUPER protect all women from skirt mishaps MAN No I did. I really did. Why don't you believe me? The truth... Look at the photo above. Until tomorrow. Jai |
Loading
Jai CatalanoThere are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights. Archives
January 2013
 |
JAI CATALANO - Photographer | Videographer | Editor
973.715.0018 | New York, NY | Morristown, NJ
973.715.0018 | New York, NY | Morristown, NJ
Copyright Jai Catalano © 2004 - 2021