Thanks for asking about the Secure Denture Adhesive Commercial. It is now complete. Here are a few photos to tease you all with. Once the client has the video I will make sure that everyone gets a look at the wonderful work WE all did.
A special thanks to Kris M for all the hard work and fun we had.
Also think seriously about Secure Denture Adhesive because there will be a day for when our time comes. And for some of you the time has come.
After writing the article 10 ways to become a great salsa dancer I learned from watching my kids that there is an 11th way that will help your salsa skills grow. So if you are interested in a bonus way to become a greater salsa dancer thanks to my kids, read on.
11) Lead without moving your feet
Well that makes no sense. How am I supposed to dance without moving my feet Jai? Work with me on this because I showcase this idea in class a lot. Stand in place grounded on the floor and lead your partner do various moves (on timing) across your body only using your core muscles and not your feet. Twist to right and left respectfully to guide your partner to the other side of your frame. This allows you to control spacing and feel the move all the way through without disconnecting the consistency of your lead. When you take away movement of your lower half you train the upper half to do the necessary work the follower needs to experience.
Tip. Confused? Come to my class.
Check out the Lead Me Bitch Stick Video
It's 5:45 am and both kids are wide awake ready to start the day. Why? I am ready to go back to bed and restart the night. Anyway, I found this video... It's of a dad getting the death look from his wife. Although I totally understand the well deserved look she gave him I find I receive that look more un-deserved times than most and just feel sorry for him. Check it out. Feel the pain and let's bond tomorrow. I would right more butt I just fell a bite offf.
Duh!!! JLo plus sexy dress plus a crowd equals WOW. Let's not get this twisted. It's because she has money to get back to wow. My wow is upside down. It's more like mom. Or better said... Mommy Help. I know if I had money like JLo I too could amaze a crowd in a red sexy dress. Right now I can't even wow a roach with a slipper and a Raid can.
Honestly though, it is getting a bit easier but 1 & 2 are getting so smart. Smarter than me. Here is what I mean.
I went to work and finished at 8. I walked home to give the kiddies extra time to fall asleep so I didn't have to be the father helping his wife put his kids to sleep guy when I got home. I walked in that door and A & J were both looking at me like I know you wanted to see us... so we decided to keep mommy up a little longer to give you the pleasure.
Jaxon & I went to one of his daycare friend's 2nd birthday party. It's so cute watching 2 year olds do adult social behavior. I blame daycare. I saw Jaxon hug one of his friends, shake hands with someone else, pat someone on the head to console them, kiss a girl, give the birthday girl her gift, and pick his nose and scratch his...
For the most part I had nothing to do with telling him to do any of those things except for... Anyway, I always blame daycare. Daycare has a profound effect on all of those little social buggers. A few months ago Jaxon counted from 1 to 18 and one of the mother's overheard and said to me how did you get him to do that... I told her what any normal person would tell another parent. I said I was a prodigy child with model like looks so naturally any offspring I spring off will have my Brad Pitt Einstein abilities.
Brad Pitt Einstein.
It might come as a shock to you that I didn't make the The Richest People in America, 2011 cut. I am not a billionaire, millionaire, or thousandaire... I do have a few hundred (pennies) though. Although once Vivian reads this she might ask for it. Don't get me wrong it's not like Vivian needs my money but she has a cute innocent way of saying to me
honey... can you give me a few dollars so I don't have to walk all the way to the bank by myself.
3 years later I find myself re looking under the couch for loose change before Vivian finds it and puts it in Jaxon's piggy bank. I mean that money fell out of my lazy ass pocket.
All jokes aside. I don't need to be on The Richest People in America List because with 2 penny pinchers and a cute loving wife I am proud to have made the Richest Poor Person in America 2011 cut.
Until Monday because I am filming my denture commercial tomorrow.
In order to have a temporarily semi successful Ponzi Scheme you need to have a creatively evil mind and rest. Sleep is important for good thoughts as well as corrupted thoughts. Lack of sleep is only good for fly off the handle agitated evil thoughts. That is why Vivian and I would never be successful at Ponzi Scheming. We never get sleep plus I am not evil. Vivian well...
However, if ever were a time to begin our own Scheme, now would be the time to begin. Guess who slept the whole night long? EVERYONE...
So what scheme can we do?
I can scheme our kids into funding our retirement.
I can get them to cook and clean for us until we die.
I can sell them... Nah not scheme like enough.
I don't know but if you have any semi pseudo
baby scheming ideas to help us until they are 18 please let me know...
Question? What would Ponzi do if he had kids?
While I was Sittin On Tha Toilet I thought to myself really AK? Was that necessary? I mean I would have been offended if anyone were naked on TV... Like if Sofia Vergara were running around naked on Modern Family I would not like it. I'm lying. I would be happy.
But come on Ashton Kutcher running around naked on 2.5 men... Really? Aside from every women in America and gay people I think I have a lot of support on my POV. Doesn't 2.5 men realize that despite trying to put my kids to sleep early, they get up at random times during the night.
What if Jaxon would have seen Aston and his Kutcher??? He would have said pee pee in the potty Aston. Pee pee in the potty.
What if Anjali would have seen his Aston? It's bad enough she drools.
Do me a favor AK keep your 2.5 men in your pants?
Let's face it there is no Emmy Awards Show for parenting... It's a thankless job. For a little over 2 years I have tried to do a great job as a parent but not once have I been stopped on the street and given money or a trophy... However, recently a women stopped me on the street and reprimanded me for having my daughter in the sun.
Don't you know your daughter is in the sun?
So I said I know.
I am trying to get in the shade.
And then I gave her the constipated smile. you know the smile that forces me to smile for societal sake but underneath that there is a whole lot of sh*t that wants to come out.
I should have said...
Really lady? Have you seen how white I am? I am trying to get to the shade Broomhilda. Plus unless you are going to help me with your masterful knowledge for the next 17.5 years please don't tease me with your Einstein abilities. Can I please have your telephone number Alex Trebek because I have no clue what to do when she wakes up at 4 am? Oh and one more thing can you baby sit Saturday night?
Why did the State approve a $420,000 tax credit for production costs from the Jersey Shore's first season? It's bad enough that the state of New Jersey bends me over and doesn't have the respect to give me vaseline. Now I don't want to complain but NJ charges me close to $14,000 a year on my Newark property. Yep you read right. Newark NJ. Yes the place that always seems to end up in the news with someone dead. Let me break down what $14,000 a year is taking away from us before the Jersey Shore tax approval.
1) 608,000 diapers
2) 14, 239 scoops of formula
3) 875 hours of NYC baby sitting hours
4) 1,400,000 pennies in the piggy bank
5) 2, 800 tubes of butt cream for the kids
6) 14,000 bottles of baby food
7) 1272 visits to the kid's museum
8) 350 doddle doo's hair cuts
9) 5, 600 ice creams
and my favorite...
10) $14,000 worth of gifts I can buy myself on behalf of my kids.
Come on New Jersey...
There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.