 Over the last 3 years
I have gotten married (careful on your honeymoon) I had a son (see what I mean) I did the day watch with him (because mom has a real job) I had a date night (careful on date night) I had a daughter (see what I mean) I did the day watch with her (because mom still had a real job) and now starting tomorrow they both are going to daycare full time. Am I happy? Hell yeah. but I am a little misty. Kind of like when Arnold Swarchenegger self terminated in Terminator 2. However, I will still write this blog (it's cheaper than therapy) for the 20 people who read it. (Or should I say for the 20 times my mom reads it) So I wanted to take this moment and say thank you for all of the nice emails and comments you have sent me since I started this blog in May. It was a great pleasure knowing that for a small moment in time we connected on some level even if I am here neglecting my daddy duties for a few minutes writing and you are there neglecting your work duties by reading and responding to this blog. I look forward to sharing more experiences together. Once again thanks... Until tomorrow (without my kids spitting up on me) Jai
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 ...and with both of their incomes (or even just a tenth of one of them) they are going to have enough HELP in the house to make the journey of parenthood an easier one. You see I might not have that kind of money but I have HELP that is far more valuable than Beyonce and Jay Z can afford. You see the HELP I get also gives me an education.
For example: One day Jaxon was peeing on me when I was changing him and I yelled for Vivian to get me a towel while I blocked his super soaker. Vivian yelled back get it yourself I am busy. That experience taught me that no matter how much I love my kids I hate being peed on. or the time that Anjali pooped on me and Vivian laughed until I asked her to help me clean up. She said YUCK clean it yourself. That experience taught me how to control myself from vomiting until I was able to get home and change my clothes. or lastly the time that I asked Vivian to iron a shirt for me and she said iron it yourself I am not your mother. That experience taught me to appreciate that everyone gets old and there is nothing wrong with wrinkles. Until tomorrow. Jai  ...isn't such a bad thing when all else fails. I remember one time I was in Colombia and Vivian's 4 year old cousin had a major embarrassingly HUGE meltdown in Blockbuster because she wanted to see a movie that the rest of the family didn't want to see. After her father unsuccessfully tried to calm her down truthfully in the store, her mother walked over, grabbed the empty case along with her daughter and asked the cashier if they could rent the movie that her daughter wanted to see. What she didn't see was that her mom winked with her unseen eye at the cashier who followed along and said I am sorry but that movie is not in the case because it's already rented. And within 2 seconds she stopped crying. Lying solved everything... and little did she know that Blockbuster had several stock in the back just waiting for little girls to rent. That was my first lesson in when and how to lie successfully to your kids. so I took that experience and and here is what I came up with... Because hurricane Irene spoiled our plans for Jaxon's 2nd birthday party in the park, and the family and I were stuck in doors all day and night, I decided to set a lie in motion that makes Vivian and me look like we are the best parents a 2 year old could ever have.  Other than Elmo I have no idea who those people are. Until tomorrow.
Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  We have this amazing party planned for my son's 2nd birthday party which is this Sunday. 23 parents with their kids are confirmed to go plus some of our friends are planning to be there too... However there is 1 person that has decided to come but neither I nor Vivian have invited her. She is the type of person who NOBODY wants around. She is volatile, moody, gloomy, and down right unpredictable. Her profession is a deconstruction worker. And her name is Irene.
So the birthday celebration has been canceled but the party will now be what I call a photoshop party. I am going to photoshop several photos with Jaxon's face in them along with some amazing fun time photos that I find on the internet. It will incorporate games, clowns, balloons, ice cream, cake, and all the goodies of being a kid. In the end he will believe I am a better dad than I would have been on his birthday. So on Sunday if you all could (in spirit) sing Jaxon the happy birthday song, to add to the love that I am going to photoshop... that would be great. Until Monday. Jai NYC Headshot photographer  After reading the news I cannot help but NOT feel sorry for BOA because of all the crappy things they have done to my family and me. I don't mind when my family wants to be crappy with me because well... they are my family. Like the time Anjali crapped on me on Father's Day. Or the time Jaxon threw up in the car and I got stuck parking and cleaning it in the rain. I especially can't forget how crappy Vivian treated me during the 2 times she gave birth.
___ If you touch me ever again I will tie Mr. Jai in a knot. Hold me. On second thought get away from me. I don't know how much longer I can keep hating you but I still have a lot of time left. This is the last and only time I am doing this! No more babies for me. (During the birth of Jaxon) And my all time favorite. Why couldn't you be gay? ___ Until tomorrow. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  If this news rocked your world worse than the earthquake yesterday afternoon you don't have to worry. Will and Jada are still together. Plain and simple rumors are BAD and down right HURTFUL.
Like the time in Kindergarten someone said that my mother wore combat boots. It just wasn't true. Yes she tried them on but she never sealed the deal with a purchase. Or the time that someone said that my mom was so fat that she doesn't wear 501 jeans she wears 1002 jeans. Now it's true that my mom gained a few extra pounds in the 80's but she never wore 1002 jeans. 751.50 jeans yes but 1002 jeans is just wrong. Or lastly someone once said that my mother was so old she sat behind Jesus in 2nd grade. This is just plain stupid. Everyone knows that my mom and Jesus didn't meet until 3rd grade. Until tomorrow. Jai Catalano NYC Headshot Photographer  but he couldn't stop a parenting misunderstanding between Vivian and me last night. Yes it's true we actually have misunderstandings from time to time even though I am both good looking and pretty funny. Looks and humor can only get me so far. Anyway, during those misunderstandings, both last night and in the past, I have never experienced anybody famous coming over to try and help us solve them sooner. I actually really would have appreciated it if Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, or even Ryan O'neal came over last night to give their 2 cents. Ok well maybe Ryan O'neal wouldn't have been a good candidate to give parenting advice but I would have most definitely listened to the 2 other Ryans. I mean Ryan Reynolds was the Green Lantern which means any man in green tights is worth at least looking at. And Ryan Gosling was pretty romantic in the Notebook. Not to mention I cried like a little girl when he said I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you every day for a year. You know... just writing these words makes me misty. Hold on give me a second.
Ok I am back. So as I was saying about the notebook... Ok Wait. Give me another second... Ok the notebook... You know what. I can't go on. I need tissue... Until tomorrow. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  Well if you can believe it I missed Kim Kardashian's wedding for another day at the park with the family. Yeah I would have liked to have gone to the wedding to say goodbye to Kim one last time but getting caught in the rain once again while being with the family in the park seems more memorable. If you have been reading this blog then you will remember I got caught in the rain last week too.
(Click Drinking and driving to see when I got caught last time) So how did I get caught and soaked in the rain again? Well we were all in the park and I said to Vivian hey it looks like it's going to rain. She laughed. Then the clouds came in darker so she looked at me and she laughed but then said ok let's go. I said yes boss and we left... However, on the way home Vivian said we need some stuff at the supermarket. So she laughed and said you have 2 choices. We can buy the stuff now that we are in front of the store or you can walk back later on once the kids are asleep. So we went in and bought a few things and ran out... Then as we were running towards the house we see one of Jaxon's little friends along with his parents heading to the park and Vivian laughed and said don't stop and talk to them. Of course I never really listen and I stopped and chatted a bit to tell them that we got a text message warning of the strong rain that was coming. BOOM... Guess who had an umbrella and guess who didn't? Why couldn't I fit under Vivian's umbrella? Well because she still carries the single selfish look at how cute I am one person umbrella that serves no purpose for me. Anjali was covered because she was on Vivian's chest and Jaxon was in the stroller with the top up. Everyone was good but me... And guess who laughed again? Until tomorrow. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  Jai Catalano & Melanie Torres in Perfect Excuses I saw... Yes I actually stayed awake for a solid play last night that featured my good friend and dance partner Melanie Torres. Andre Hereford, who was my director for Perfect Excuses (comes out in Sept - the play not him), directed the play. So I had to take 85 minutes out of being a dad to go support my friends. I am glad I did. Well worth the 85 minutes. Although come to think about it... I could have been comatose in the park for 85 minutes and had a great time. The play was about one young man, forced to play God, must decide who lives or dies among a group of 8 strangers confronting the apocalypse. Then I thought about today's blog and what dramatic life changing choices I am faced with everyday... 1. Should I ignore the cries of my kids until my wife gives in to take care of them. 2. Should I eat the last cookie. 3. Should I fake amnesia. (I am blonde so it's not a stretch) 4. Should I lock my kids in the room and say the door is jammed I will run out to find someone to let you out. 5. Should I there is a free mother and child concert in the park starring Elmo. Dads not allowed. Many many choices to make... Until Monday. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  Photo compliments of shorpy.com Now I swore I would never ever want to be one of those parents who brags about their children for accomplishing milestones that they inevitably have to achieve BUT I never swore I wouldn't brag about what I have accomplished while having kids. 1. I took a 45 minute nap. 2. I finally figured out how to take a shower. 3. I had relations with my wife. 4. I matched my socks. 5. I cooked a romantic meal in the microwave. 6. I watched a movie in 5 days. 7. I read a manual and actually understood it. 8. I started P90X 180 days ago. 9. I canceled my Playboy subscription. 10. and aside from writing this blog everyday since May I wrote an article that I am quite proud of. To read the article click on my face with the very white teeth. Until tomorrow. Jai NYC Headshot Photographer  |
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January 2013
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