...because of your stupidity I had a nightmare last night that it was the “6th day” before “Christmas in Connecticut” and my daughter, who was a grown woman, walked by a “Conan the Barbarian” sized man dressed in a Santa Claus outfit and said hey baby… “jingle all the way...” She said excuse me. He said do you want to be my "Last action hero" and go “commando” with me “around the world in 80 days” and play “Batman and Robin” until you wake up my “junior” and his “twins”?
She said let me give you the “raw deal” and tell you that if you talk to me again I will hunt you down like a “predator” and “terminate, or” better said pull out my “red heat,” that I have labeled the “eraser,” and chase you from here to “the streets of San Francisco” and blast you to the “end of days.”
Sorry is not good enough Arnold.
Maria Shriver I wish you and your family all the best.
Until Tomorrow when "I'll be back"
When my wife was pregnant with my son Jaxon she gained 40lbs (normal). I gained 26 (stupid). When she gave birth she lost 16lbs (normal). I lost 0 (still stupid). With my daughter she gained and lost about the same and then some. She is only 15lbs from her pre pregnancy weight (WOW). I am 8lb (OW).
P90X, which I did years ago, has helped me lately until I can get back in the gym. For now, Anjali is my workout partner. Sometimes she just stares at me and seems to laugh which pushes to show her I can still p90x. Sometimes she falls asleep which allows me the time to be creatively quite and get through the brutal 1 hour that you are given... ...and sometimes I need to add her into the workout (photo above).
One thing I have learned from having kids is that they are born into your world and not the other way around. Thanks Anjali for being my workout partner yesterday. My chest and back will never be the same after yesterday's workout.
8lbs and dropping.
Sunday's are great because things are a bit slower for me and the nanny (aka my wife). She is a great mother and there is doubt about that... In fact she is so good that I decided to buy her a Nook for no reason other than to say thank you (Insert applause here).
However, let's talk about great dads. No not me. (insert more applause here) Although you have a point. :). I mean the one and only... Drum Roll please...
Oscar Valero. (photo by yours truly with his son Amir.)
Oscar is a Flamenco Dancer turned husband and 2 time stay at home dad. Oscar has 2 wonderful boys (Amir Leo 3 and Elias 6 months). I have known Oscar for several years now and unbeknownst to him I have used him as my palette to be a stay at home dad. Watching Oscar in action is like watching a ball player on the field. He is always calm and in control of the situation and now that he has 2 kids, who always seem to love and respect him, it's like he is playing a double header. To this day I see Oscar and am always amazed by his flow in the role of being the SAHD.
Oscar you rock. (applause truly needed here)
Do you unintentionally abuse your children? Here is what I mean.
All for a photo on Easter 2010 I gave my son to a TALL FURRY RABBIT with BLACK BEADY EYES dressed in a PINK SUIT. HE HATED IT. Photo above.
All for a photo on Christmas 2010 I took my son to Santaland in Macy's and gave my son to a HUGE FAT BEARDED MAN in a BRIGHT RED SUIT. HE HATED IT. Photo above.
I can't even show what happened on Easter 2011.
Please tell me your story.
Now I am not a super dad but if someone gives me an award for being one I promise to receive it with a smile and a small speech which I already wrote. My son (Jaxon) who is now in daycare was my training ground for any future kids I would have. (Hopefully therapy won't be too expensive.) Today, I now have 2 kids (I don't even sneeze around my wife anymore) so I now have a second chance.
How much do you waste is the question?
There is a lot of waste in the world. We waste money, energy, time and so much more.
What does this have to do with your daughter Jai?
I am glad you asked.
There is one thing that should never be wasted or in my case forgotten about. That is... Drum Roll please...
DO NOT forget the breast milk that your wife pumped the night before. In my case I made a huge mistake and forgot that there was breast milk in the fridge (please remember I am a natural blonde). Now when I realized that I had forgotten it, Vivian was 10 minutes away from coming home from a long day. That's right the breast milk which only has a 24 hour fridge life was on it's last leg or in this case breast. I had 2 options:
1. Dump the milk and lie about giving it to her.
2. Tell her the truth and take it like a man.
What did I do you ask?
( Vivian is Colombian. Colombian people have had a very intense emotional history that is still following them to this day. The 80's and 90's were pretty rough. However, it's a lovely country with people who couldn't be more emotionally loving to foreigners. At least that has been my experience. Vivian (who is proud to be Colombian but was born here) is no exception. However, did you see the movie The Incredible Hulk? Imagine the Hulk as a Colombian woman who has been told their breast milk was wasted. )
What did I do you ask?
I told the painful truth and Vivian needs a new set of clothes.
Until tomorrow. If I live.
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How long does it take for a 2 month old to get over the fact that her mom has gone back to work?
If Anjali could talk I would ask her how she feels that mom isn't around during the day. However, she was comfortably asleep on top of her dad most of the day. I guess she doesn't care about mom anymore. Oh no... the backspace key isn't working... OK! Strike that from the record. What I meant to write was I guess she doesn't mind because Dad is here. :)
So what did we do today. Daddy fell asleep. Damn backspace key. OK!!! You try sitting home watching a sleeping baby and the housewives of Atlanta all day and see if you make it past noon. :).
Anyway, after Nene Leaks and the other Georgians ended all their drama, Anjali and I went out and enjoyed some sun. Surprisingly, we encountered several women who would approach us wanting to talk. Here is what they ALL said:
Women-OMG!!! She is so cute. She looks like you.
Me-Thank you but I have to give thanks to my mom and dad for my daughters stunning looks.
Women and me-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAH
Oh and lastly Anjali and I found a goodie. Actually the goodie found us from this blog. 2 days in to blogging and we got a goodie already.
For all of you dads out there... Here is a great site that brings dads together. Thanks for finding me so I can help others find us all. http://www.nycdadsgroup.com/
If you want to send me a site or a comment please do so...Until tomorrow.Jai
If Anjali (my daughter) were in Kansas, Dorothy would have said "there is no place like home but can I stay a few days longer". If Anjali were Luke Skywalker's daughter, Darth Vader would have said "baby sit??? Luke I am not your father." If Anjali were a pal of Scarface he would have said, "take a look at my little friend" and pulled out my daughter.
Ok so it wasn't that bad. Today was the first day that Vivian (my wife) went back to work so I think Anjali felt the loss. I know I did :). For her entire life (2 months) she had her mom at her feeding disposal but the truth is my nipples don't work the same and so it was me and the bottle (no pun intended). The first 3 hours Anjali drank nearly 9 ounces of formula (I wonder what Bob and Jillian would say about that). Did she fall asleep you ask? (See photo above). Did I get anything done during the day? (See photo above). Did we both miss mom? (See... well you know)
There were 2 highlights. Yes 2 first father and daughter moments. I played the game got your nose where I would mock take Anjali's nose from her face and eat it in front of her. She smiled and laughed which made me forget how we both were feeling (See photo above). We strolled outside for an hour and got some needed fresh air, on a gorgeous day, and Anjali stayed alert to her new surroundings the whole time.
All in all it was a bumpy day for us both but we both know things will get easier one day... I hear the teenage years are brutal. Is that true? Well no need to worry about the teen years yet because... See photo above.
There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.