Bouquet Of Poison Ivy
Believe it or not, I knew a guy who was itching to give his ex girlfriend a bouquet of poison ivy as a token of his loving affection. It turns out that she got wind of his plan and called her new boyfriend to weed out the situation.
Lingerie From Your Previous Relationship
Believe it or not, (again) a female friend of mine one time gave a pair of elephant pouch underwear, that she had stolen from her ex, to a new guy she was dating. She swore to me that she had washed them and I swore to myself to never date her.
Jenny Craig Dinner
I am not going to lie, Jenny Craig is a great program. I have lost a significant amount of weight after I gained several pounds because my wife got pregnant twice. However, no matter how romantic the JC marketers design their Valentine's Day meals, I can't perform my Rudolf Valentino act with a 3 cheese ziti dinner for 2.
Trader Joe's Wine
Good Ole 2 buck chuck... Don't get me wrong Trader Joe's wine is fine for the other 364 days during the year but not for Valentine's Day. There are several companies that make inexpensive wine that don't have cheap ass mother f***king date written all over it.
Opened Box Of Chocolate
I am going to make this obvious one short and sweet... Unless you are a ping pong champion with a fishing boat who runs all over the world then don't open the box of chocolate because your name isn't Forest Gump.
Happy Valentine's Day
2/14/2012 04:17:43 am
We celebrated Valentine's Day last night since he works tonight (same as last year). We had such a good time and the restaurant wasn't even crowded--I think we may make it a tradition!
2/14/2012 04:36:33 am
That is so cool. I am glad it was nice.
2/14/2012 04:59:38 am
I've heard of lots of people celebrating Valentine's Day on a different day. It makes sense with how busy restaurants get and how some places jack up the prices. As to the gifts not to give people, it's amazing that people would actually consider something like that, but some people are a little lacking in common sense.
2/14/2012 05:07:07 am
I guess when you are hurting inside you will do stupid things to make yourself feel batter.
2/14/2012 05:32:58 am
Haha... They are the worst.
2/14/2012 07:12:43 am
I beg to differ. I like the $2 wine from Trader Joes. Especially if you slip in some fruit spritzer :)
2/14/2012 07:26:26 am
Ahhh but in doing that you increase it's value turing it into a whole new drink. That creativity is exactly what Vday needs.
2/15/2012 12:59:38 am
Your list is very funny, but that picture is scary!
2/15/2012 02:47:37 am
My wife said to me yesterday she wants to print the photo. LOL.
2/16/2012 06:54:38 am
2/18/2012 05:08:38 am
2/26/2012 05:28:56 am
Hahaha! This pic is hilarious.
2/26/2012 06:07:48 am
Thanks It was fun to do too.
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There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.