I have learned that sometimes I need to think outside of the pamper to get Anjali to stop crying just long enough so I can finish watching the Housewives of Atlanta.
Here are 5 ways that have worked for me in the past.
1) Doing a monologue center stage from A Streetcar named Desire.
Works every time.
2) Bad American Idol singing. I can't sing so I mastered this one fast.
Sumwear ova da reinbow wey up hi...
Sometimes she cries if I too many lyrics.
3)A bela Lugosi impersonation with a flashlight under my chin.
I come to suck your toes...
She laughes at me.
4) I fart on her. Usually with my mouth on her belly but one time I passed by her crib and tripped. She was stunned out of tears. Sorry Anjali.
5) My olympic style routine.
I set up like Mary Lou Retton, run around like Bruce Jenner, and hold a final pose like Dorothy Hamill.
If you have an unconventional way of stopping those baby tears let me know and I will try it out.
There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.