Here are some examples of how I would do it.
1. I feel like screaming loudly OMG Elmo has been run over by a mack truck.
2. I feel like quietly tying my son's pamper to his crib and film him waking up.
3. I feel like pasting my son's toys on the wall and telling him I think you need a V8.
4. I feel like putting a poster of a HUGE JUICY baby bottle full of milk in front of my daughter.
5. I feel like calling my son from an anonymous number and saying this...
Hi this is Santa Claus. I just wanted to say you have been doing a great job for the first 7 months of 2011. Keep up the great work Michael.
My name isn't Michael. It's Jaxon.
Opps. Wrong number.