Vivian is starting her workout regimen today which makes me remember the basic rules of what not to say to a woman... Here they are...
There are 3 things you should never ask a woman.
1. Never ask a woman her age.
This is tricky because you can't be too far off from her age and you can't be too close to it if you actually try to guess. If you say wow you look 21 she will undoubtedly know you are lying because let's be honest... you are lying. If you come too close to her real age she will be furious that you didn't say she looked younger than she thinks the world thinks she is. If you say a number over her real age... Watch out...
In essence you never win.
2. Never ask her how much she weighs.
This one stay away from at all costs. I don't even use homophones or homographs of certain words. I one time said I love you, you are so well rounded. Insert screams here and fill in the blanks...
3. Never ask a woman if she wants to go shoe shopping. This is probably the worst of the 3... There is no amount of beating or screaming I wouldn't want to take over a day of shoe shopping with a woman. The Chinese torture chamber is a day at the beach compared.
I hope you take my word for it.
There are 3 things I can't change... my 2 kids, my 1 wife and my 0 rights.