For the last few weeks I have used Wednesdays to shout out a Yakezie member in what I call Yakezie Wednesday. Not to be confused by Stormy Monday or thank God it's Friday. However, today I want to shout out one of the newest members that just got asked to join. Below is a true funny story that will forever remind me of their website's name. This is for you SB and SMB. Congratulations on becoming the newest made members of Yakezie.
The year was 1994 but the smell predated the current period by 13 years. That's right. I was at the Italian street festival of Pompeii selling tourist tee shirts with my good friend and long time roommate JP. Back then it was a lucrative business but it was all about the hustle of your game that dictated where you were set up, who was going to protect you, and the amount of money you were taking home. Remember this was NYC 1994 where the murder rate was still higher than the cost of a Hyundai. Luckily for me I am one of those born and bread New Yorker guys that has a great gift of gab and everybody loves. That and it didn't hurt to give Vinnie Finarelli 1000 smackaronis under the table.
I was sandwiched in between the zeppole guy and a club DJ so I was either eating or dancing depending on which way I looked. As the day turned to night, Whodini & some of his freaks started showing up and began hovering around the music and food. This one older couple, who looked like they stepped out of the 70's still intoxicated, began dancing slowly and rhythmically off timing in front of my booth. The crowd stopped to watch because, aside from embarrassing, they were quite entertaining. People started clapping which only fueled their energy to re create some of the moves from yesteryear. She spun left then he dropped to the floor. He spun right then she slid towards him. Left-Right-Spin-Drop-Slide was their dance sequence until he got the impulse to rap it up.
The pumping club song was ending and the couple seemed to know it was time to hit the grand finale so he decided to do a final move. That's when he kicked over her head and tried to land in a split. However, he must have forgotten that he wasn't in the 70's anymore or maybe his girlfriend grew taller because he smacked her dead center in the face. As she fell to her final un-choreographed move, he sat in a semi split with his hands proudly in the air. The crowd gasped and applauded at the same time because neither of them broke character. Without blinking or looking down, he bowed and proudly accepted the applause. She slowly stood up, clearly dazed but with a smile, to take in the roaring crowd as well.
People were giving them money and they gladly accepted it. The zeppole guy gave them a bag of zeppoles and JP and I started looking for some change in our pockets. I mean let's be honest, Broadway costs $150.00 a ticket and I got to watch an intense dance performance filled with excitement, fear and laughter for free. The least I could do was tip them. So that is when I called him over.
Hey buddy. Come here. Nice show. Here is a little something for you and your lady.
Dancer From the 70's
Thanks man glad you liked it.
Liked it. We loved it. Here is something for you guys. Sorry we can't give you more money but it's been a bit slow today.
Dancer From the 70's
No worries my brother.
I am building my fortune
one cent at a time baby.
One cent at a time!
I hope you liked my story SB and SMB. Please visit the newest personal finance blogging members of Yakezie and NOT the couple I met back in 1994 at One Cent At A Time.Until Tomorrow,Jai
A few of the financial bloggers on Yakezie have blogged away from the financial topics of debt, taxes, and too many taxes that put you back into debt to tell the blogosphere a little bit about themselves. Everyone knows I love to have a little fun so I thought I would join in and tell you 40 things that you might not know about me. By the way if there is something you do know about me that I don't please let me know and add it to the bottom. :)
and a bonus...I still have the dress I wore 10 years ago from the photo above.
- I graduated high school in 3 years.
- I passed every class except trigonometry.
- I was born and raised in Manhattan.
- I took a weird photo with Governor McGreevey.
- I used to rap.
- I performed my first salsa routine in 1999.
- I am an only child.
- I have a half brother.
- I was at the birth of my 2 kids and didn't faint.
- I won the Secure Denture Adhesive contest.
- I cried at King Kong.
- I danced for Tito Puente in his last televised performance.
- I have never taken a photography class.
- I used to design tourist t-shirts.
- I grew up with cats but became allergic to them in my 20's.
- I became a Youtube Partner in June 2010.
- I begged for money on the NYC train as the Billionaire Beggar.
- I commentated for ESPN's World Salsa Championships for 3 years.
- I love chocolate chip cookies and don't share any of them with anyone.
- I speak only spanish to my kids.
- I got my driver's license when I was 16.
- I used to work in the World Trade Center.
- I danced regularly in the Copacabana for 4 years.
- I filmed my first Youtube Skit called The Lead Me Bitch Stick in Florida 2008.
- I say what I do and do it and I am not just saying that.
- I have driven to Florida and back 4 times.
- I drove cross country from California to New Jersey with my brother.
- I have performed in 16 countries.
- I stripped down to my underwear in the Sydney Airport in Australia.
- I flew on my first plane when I was 23.
- I flew in a helicopter when I was 14.
- I asked my wife to marry me on 14th street and 5th avenue.
- I got stuck in a curtain while dancing at Madison Square Garden.
- I won 5 salsa competitions and lost 1.
- I did my final split while dancing in Atlantic City March 2005.
- I emailed Hilary Clinton I couldn't make her book signing. She mailed me her signature.
- I did frontal nudity in the play about Henry.
- I had a 181 bowling average by the time I stopped bowling at age 16.
- I owned 19 payphones until 1998.
- I gained 16 sympathy lbs with my pregnant wife & lost it w another woman-Jenny Craig.
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You might be thinking I'm actually flying in the photo above but according to either Isaac Hayes or Isaac Newton, there is a gravitational pull between people and the earth which basically mean's I can't fly - nor sing. However, with trusty Photoshop I can sneak out in the hall to escape from my whining, crying, complaining, moaning wife, kids and mother in law to photograph myself floating happily as can be in the hallway.
How To Photograph A Floating Person1. Find a place where you can float without appearing to be as crazy as you look. In this case I found the hallway to be within my wife's vocal reach so I set my Canon 7D up on a Cullmann Tripod and took a photograph of my hallway with my wireless remote control.
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2. Leaving the camera exactly where it was, I placed an ottoman about 3 feet away from the camera and balanced my fat ass on the poor piece of furniture. Then I mustered up the best constipated smile I could come up with and pressed the remote control.
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3. After feeling like I accomplished my idiotic goal I went back in the house and told my wife I was helping out one of the elderly neighbors with her groceries. My wife said, "let me see proof." I said, "I don't have any proof." She then said, "It's a shame you aren't a photographer who takes his camera and tripod along with him everywhere. You might have won the Pulitzer" Anyway, I then took the 1st photo and placed the 2nd one (as a layer) on top. After lining them up I created a layer mask, switched the foreground color, clicked the brush tool with a hardness of 50% and started to erase away the now broken ottoman.
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4. Then once you are completely satisfied with How To Photograph A Floating Person, make sure your wife isn't behind you saying, "from the looks of things Superlessman, it looks like you flew passed your destination."
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5. For extra fun you can always add a few Topaz Adjust filters to enhance the photo and make your wife say, "hey Clark! Being that you are so quick to help, fly over to the kitchen and cook superman junior something to eat because mommy is sick of being wonder woman all the time."
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Did you miss any of my blog this week? Shame on you! How the hell am I supposed to fly to Dubai and spend the week in the Burj Al Arab Hotel? :)
Curtis Charles and I have a Karate tournament championship photo shoot coming up and between the 2 of us we put this magazine cover together to place on the competitor's photos that both C and I are going to take. Actually Curtis did most of the design of the magazine cover and I just tweaked it and added a photo of me of course. Curtis you rock. Or shall I say you Karate? Ok corny is done.
Did you know my daughter was a child genius? You should have figured it out after getting to know me a bit... I mean the apple pie doesn't fall from the oven. Take a look at the video and see for yourself. But I warn you... DO NOT BLINK. She is very fast. My son who is a few days from 2 1/2 years old had his 9th haircut. Yes 9. I mean come on... Really? If ever my personal finance blogger friends from Yakezie ever wondered where ALL my money goes well now they know. I avoided getting his haircut for a long time. Read Crime Stoppers to find out why. So instead of cutting it I nicknamed him Barry Gibbs. Did you take the poll of which President I look like after Photoshop? Guess who won. Even I was blown away. To read those and more of this past weeks blogs please take a look at the links below...Oh wait!!! Does Alexa Ranking really matter being that every week I post the new numbers? No not really but it's fun to talk about because part of the Yakezie challenge is to get them under 200k. So, as of today I am 155,428 in case you were wondering.1. Fun With Photography - Photoshop Self Into 5 Different Presidents 2. Child Genius (Safety Product FAIL)3. Dr. Dean (A Thinker & A Knower)Until Monday,Jai
Before reading Dr. Dean's blog I used to think that there was a lot I already knew. I actually know a lot more than some people think and think a lot more than those people know. In all fairness, those are my thoughts that I think I know about the people who think they know me and what they think I think about. However after becoming a regular reader of Dr. Dean's blog I now think that those people that thought I didn't know as much as I thought I knew were more knowledgable about me than I thought.
I know what you are thinking. Does Dr. Dean know more than I know? Honestly, I don't know but I truly think so. Think about it! He is a Doctor which should put him in a class of knowers higher than thinkers like me. Truth be told, I only know Dr. Dean from his knowledgable blog and thoughtful comments that he adds to mine. I say knowledgable blog because I think his blog is well thought out with tons of knowledge. As a reader, I know from his writing that he thinks through the thought provoking topics, narrowing down his thoughts to add insightful, reader friendly knowledge for the thousands of thinkers and knowers who read his knowledgable thoughts daily. Look I don't want you to think I think I know it all because now I read Dr. Dean's blog. In fact, I think it's safe to say that Dr. Dean probably doesn't think he knows it all either. That's not the kind of thought I get from his online presence. Although, that being said, I now know I know a lot more than I knew before because Dr. Dean's got me thinking in a whole new thought provoking way which, between you and me, makes me more knowledgable than you could have ever imagined before you started reading today's topic of thoughts.If you want to be in the know, go over and visit Dr. Dean and his blog at www.themillionairenurse.com.Until Tomorrow,Jai
Before I get into the full story let me give you a little background on my 11 month old. When my daughter was cooking in mom I knew I was in for tons of overtime because my wife's stomach moved like a washing machine. I don't know if my daughter was warning me of her nifty hand skills or if she was excited to give me lots of love but less than 20 minutes after she was born she grabbed the nurse's jacket and didn't let go. The nurse said "OMG look at this! This has never happened to me before," as ALL the staff laughed. My wife looked at me as I gave her a constipated smile and swallowed my fear.
I can't deny my loving daughter, who we have nicknamed "La Garra" (the claw), gives lots of love and has nifty hand skills. A few months ago we were at a friend's house and she lunged out of my arms to grab a lonely glass of merlot that was sitting quietly on the table. She hooked on and tossed it onto the ground. Did the merlot deserve it? Maybe yes but nonetheless the glass and its mommy juice saw its demise. Then a few weeks ago we were in a packed elevator and my daughter swiped a pair of glasses off of a fellow elevator goer. Fortunately we saved the glasses from an early and untimely death. My wife and I justified her behavior by saying something stupid like maybe she has a thing for Prada. The foolish man and victim on his face along with the passengers laughed at what they thought was a cute move from an adorable girl. However, the other day my wife and son went for a walk and I stayed back with my daughter. I decided to get on the computer and try to get some work done. Click clack I hear behind me. I look and there is my daughter with the child safety outlet cover in her claw. I thought to myself maybe she wants me to put it back in being that I use the outlet as my phone charging outlet from time to time. So, I tussled, got it out of her hands, put it back in its place and turned back to work. Click clack I hear behind me again. I look and there is my daughter with the child safety outlet cover in her hands again. Wait a minute I think to myself. Isn't this supposed to be a child safe item? My daughter is only 11 months old. I sometimes struggle to take it out. So, I tussle with her again, get it out of her hands, push it firmly in its place and sit back and watch. Within a second I see her with my four eyes and hear her with my own 2 ears click clack. 5 times later I finally run to get my video camera to prove to my wife I am not making this stuff up. Now before you watch the video I recorded I want to stress that I did research (after the fact) and apparently Safety First Press Plug Protectors gets 1 star for there are several other child geniuses (I had no clue) in the world that render this a product FAIL. I know my wife and I should have done better research and luckily I can sit and make light of my daughter's claw and Jai like genius in a blog post but why in HELL does this product still exist? If you are a parent and you are reading this please please please don't buy this product... Even if you child isn't a genius like mine. Until Tomorrow,
In celebration of President's Day I thought I would have a little fun with photography and photoshop myself into 5 different Presidents and for some more entertainment I added 5 fast fun facts about each one. Once you are done looking at President Jai Catalano of the United States from different historical periods, I would love for you to take the poll at the end that asks you... Which Jai photoshoped into the President looks the best? Happy President's Day.
George WashingtonWho wouldn't want to be the first President of the United States? He might have turned down being called King but nobody can deny George is on top of the list. Fun Facts About George Washington.
- George Washington was 6 feet, 2inches tall and weighed 200 pounds. He wore size 13 shoe. He had red hair when young.
- Contrary to popular belief, George Washington never wore a wig.
- By the time he was president of the United States, George only had one original tooth left.
- The nation's capital, along with 1 state, 31 counties and 17 cities are named in his honor.
- As a farmer, Washington grew marijuana on his farm and promoted it's growth.
Abraham LincolnWho wouldn't want to be Honest Abe? He is arguably the most popular President who people have placed on the highest pedestal. Even Abe is wondering what the hype is about.
- Lincoln was the tallest President. At six feet, four inches, Lincoln towered over most of his contemporaries.
- He used to store things in his hat, including letters and other documents.
- Abraham Lincoln was a witty man. Many of his jokes and funny sayings have been recorded, including this one: "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- The16th President hated to go to the dentist. There was little anesthesia at the time, and one dentist has actually broken off part of Lincoln's jaw when pulling a tooth.
- John Wilkes Booth's older brother saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son Robert!
Theodore RooseveltWho wouldn't want to be one of the toughest Presidents this country has seen? Ironically the Teddy Bear was named in his honor when he decided not to shoot a bear held by his men.
- Roosevelt was known to go skinny-dipping in the Potomac River during the wintertime.
- On October 11, 1910, Roosevelt took a four minute flight in a plane built by the Wright brothers, making him the first president to fly in an airplane.
- Maxwell House coffee once asked the President what he thought of their product. He responded: "I'ts good to the last drop".
- He lost the sight in one eye while boxing in the White House one day.
- He had a photographic memory and could read an entire page in the time it took most people to read a single sentence.
John F. KennedyWho wouldn't want to be mack daddy JFK? He is undoubtedly the handsomest President who has ever strutted the White House.
- Kennedy never carried cash with him and he used to constantly borrow money from his friends to pay cab fares, restaurant checks, etc. Though Kennedy was wealthy he never made it a point to pay his friends back, leaving them irritated.
- he always kept the White House pool at 90 degrees.
- In an effort to relate to the people, he said in German: "Ich ben ein Berliner," which roughly translates to "I am a Jelly Doughnut."
- In 1943, Kennedy's PT boat was rammed and sunk. Despite being injured, he led his men to safety and even returned to active duty later in the war.
- John F. Kennedy's father gave him $1,000,000 when he turned twenty-one. (Each of his nine brothers and sisters got a million dollars too!)
Barak ObamaWho wouldn't want to be the first non caucasian President of the United States? He might be the 44th President but he's definitely in a class by himself.
- He can bench press an impressive 200lbs.
- He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics.
- In high school he was known as O’Bomber for his skill at basketball.
- He has won two Grammy awards, each one being for the audio versions of his best-selling books, 'Dreams From My Father' and 'The Audacity Of Hope'.
- He is fluent in Indonesian and Spanish.
Please take the poll below.
Did you miss any of my blog this week? Shame on you! How the HELL am I supposed to bribe my neighbor to move so I can build a thinking room & develop more genius? :)Sadly all of the financial fun from the Doritos - Crash The Super Bowl video CRASHED. Well it was fun while it lasted. I'm already thinking of this year's video. Also I just finished writing another comedy skit To Be Filmed Soon. The theme you ask? Dance. :)
In case you were wondering... Yes that is an image of my daughter that I photographed the other day with all natural light that came through the bedroom window. I would love to say I am a great photographer but the subject truly outshines the skills. By the way my daughter will be 1 in a couple of weeks and I am almost done taking a photo a day of her during her 1st year. That will become a video too. Did you know I photographed my son everyday too? Have you ever seen the video? I call it Father Takes A Photo Every Day For 1 Year. Click the phrase and let me know what you think.Anyway, I gotta cut it short today (sorry SB) because my son has been home sick with a fever and he keeps asking me to play with him and when I tell him that I am blogging he cries. I keep thinking to myself why are you crying I am the one who should be crying. Have you seen my adsense account? And now on to some numbers...My new Alexa Ranking is 176, 891. Thanks Yakezie.To read more about what I wrote about this week just visit the links below.1. How Not To Hate Being Photographed
2. 5 Unromantic Things Not To Give Your Loved One On Valentine's Day
3. How To Save Money (Mom's Way)Until MondayJai
It wasn't until I watched my wife pull 2 watermelons out of her nostril that I truly appreciated my own mother. Watching a birth is not for the faint of heart and yes I survived twice. However, giving birth puts women in an elite category that guys will never understand... For that reason I make it a point to listen to all mother's with a sense of openness and humility, even if I don't fully agree, because deep down they are speaking from a place men will never visit.
That is why when Melissa Batai from momsplans.com sent me a copy of her ebook called "Mom's Dining Out Deals" I had to listen. Why? Because she is not only a mother but she is a mother times three so she is definitely speaking from a deeper place. Side Note*** Hats off to you Melissa because between you and me I wouldn't want my wife to be deeper than she already is after the 2 watermelons she gave me.Anyway, her ebook is AMAZING. It's a quick read with no extra fat in it (pun intended) so you get right down to the savings. Melissa has included a total of 70 different strategies to go about saving money when dining out and she places a little blurb on the strategy's strong points to make you see the overall picture. Side note*** Unbeknownst to her, she turned me on to Ebates (1 of her goodies added to her strategy) a few weeks ago. ShhhAnyway again, pick up a copy of her ebook Mom's Dining Out Deals because trust me you won't be disappointed. How do I know? 3 ways...1. I read it and only knew 15 to 20 strategies.2. It's only $5. You will most likely get that back times 2 after using just 1 strategy.And 3. She has 3 watermelons.Until Tomorrow,Jai
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It's Valentine's Day again and if you haven't gotten your loved one that special Valentine's Day gift or you have chosen to be the person who hates tradition and rebels against commercialism then being romantic isn't your strong suit. However if you are scrambling all over the place today to do last minute shopping for your loved one or you have had a change of heart and decided to give commercialism the benefit of the doubt there are 5 gifts you should stay clear of if romance is on your mind.
Bouquet Of Poison Ivy
Believe it or not, I knew a guy who was itching to give his ex girlfriend a bouquet of poison ivy as a token of his loving affection. It turns out that she got wind of his plan and called her new boyfriend to weed out the situation.
Lingerie From Your Previous Relationship
Believe it or not, (again) a female friend of mine one time gave a pair of elephant pouch underwear, that she had stolen from her ex, to a new guy she was dating. She swore to me that she had washed them and I swore to myself to never date her.
Jenny Craig Dinner
I am not going to lie, Jenny Craig is a great program. I have lost a significant amount of weight after I gained several pounds because my wife got pregnant twice. However, no matter how romantic the JC marketers design their Valentine's Day meals, I can't perform my Rudolf Valentino act with a 3 cheese ziti dinner for 2.
Trader Joe's Wine
Good Ole 2 buck chuck... Don't get me wrong Trader Joe's wine is fine for the other 364 days during the year but not for Valentine's Day. There are several companies that make inexpensive wine that don't have cheap ass mother f***king date written all over it.
Opened Box Of Chocolate
I am going to make this obvious one short and sweet... Unless you are a ping pong champion with a fishing boat who runs all over the world then don't open the box of chocolate because your name isn't Forest Gump.
Happy Valentine's Day